So what is up with the sperm?

Seriously, Nonie, dear sister of mine, What is UP with the SPERM?????
For full affect please chant the following as if you are a cheerleader:
"Yes, Yes,
Yes, you do,
you have eggs.
Now what to do?"

Dear reader,
I am posting this without prior sisterly approval. Nonie could be peeved about my question. But I have always had a knack for asking the Big-Hairy-Elephant-in-the-room-question that few are willing to ask out loud but EVERYONE is thinking.
Warmly,
Sissie

P.S. If any of you have any experience acquiring sperm from a known or unknown donor please feel free to leave advice.

An even BIGGER Weight

I am completely overwhelmed.
I don't know what to say.
Don't be silly---I'll think of SOMETHING!!!!!


There is an enormous weight on my shoulders

• to reply,
• to say thank you,
• to write Nonie's life story in a nutshell (impossible for many reasons, not the least of which is that I wasn't even there for a good portion of it),
  
• to apologize to you, the reader, since I feel the previous story may have been a bit of a downer,
  

• and to assure you, the reader, that life is really, really GOOD now.
  

I can't rave about it enough! :) In fact, Life is SO Good that even with the feeling of weight on my shoulders I am strangely at peace with it. It's a good weight. A light and fluffy weight. Perhaps a heated, lavender scented neck and shoulder massage pad thingy.

I do, however, feel compelled to set the record straight on a few things:
I had 6 shots of tequila the night I met my spouse. And I am actually selfish, self-centered and self obsessed....truly, in every instance I was thinking of only my own gain from the situation. Even now I am giving my eggs because:

1. I want more babies in our family
   
2. I am tired of hearing Nonie complain about not having children
   
3. I can't wait to see her experience the torturous JOY of parenting
   
4. I am hedging my bets-- maybe this will get me into heaven (just in case I am wrong and there is a nice place after all of this)

AND there are many more reasons but these are a few of the more selfish ones used now to selfishly defend my point! HA!

Finally, part 4 of 4. my sissie.

eventually, sissie decided to travel north to Oregon to visit with my brother and his family. My brother is married to a wonderful woman. They have 4 beautiful children. At the time, they ranged from 2 to 14 years old. It was here that Sissie started a new phase of her life. She loved being with the kids and found that it pulled her out of her depression. She lived with them for a time before setting out on her own, this time in Portland Oregon. She made this choice so she could be near her nieces and nephiew. She took a job as a flight attendant and was the valedictorian of her class. It was very strange to see her in the role of flight attendant when she had to demonstrate the use of an oxygen mask and how to buckle and unbuckle the seat-belt. I had never seen her behave in such a serious and professional manner. It was here that she met her husband. Of all places, they met at a gay bar, although neither one of them was gay, and neither one of them were drinkers. I don’t know much about their courtship except that they enjoyed talking for hours and had similar senses of humor. Sissie was taking birth control pills to prevent pregnancy ( I say that because I take them to control raging periods or menorrhagea) but it must have been “meant to be” because she got pregnant anyway. Not only pregnant, she was pregnant with twins. Her boyfriend was living in a basement and she was becoming unable to work due to high blood-pressure. They would have to team up. She moved in to the basement and gestated their two beautiful kids. They found an apartment and moved out of the basement just before the births.

I flew up from California to care for my sister while she was required to be on bed rest. I made boxed macaroni and cheese for lunch and sat with her on her bed, which was surrounded by books about having babies and the like. Hours after I arrived I drove her to her OB/GYN appointment. This appointment was a follow-up for her blood pressure, which was why she was required to be on bed-rest. Within 1 hour she delivered her babies, cesarean section—emergently. Apparently, her blood pressure was dangerously high and required an emergency cesarean to preserve sissies’ life as well as the lives of the babies. We had just enough time to call her boyfriend. He arrived in the cutest fluster. He was so nervous and excited that he actually put on my sister’s jacket in an absent minded act…(just like a TV sit-com). Because we had not anticipated the delivery we were not equipped with a camera, although a video cam rested neatly in a small suitcase with sissies personal effects for the occasion. Thank goodness for random acts of kindness. Fortunately some kind person gave us an unused disposable camera. Those are the only pictures of the births. (Thank you, kind person. We have returned your kindness to others…)

During my sisters pregnancy and afterwards, I witnessed a very big change in her. Before the pregnancy she seemed angry, always fighting for justice and fairness. I suppose this is understandable looking at the events of her life. During her pregnancy, however, there was softness about her. She was so kind and loving, as if she was filled with the holy spirit itself. After the babies were born, Sissie and her boyfriend got married on the beach in a private ceremony. Everything was beautiful. It was raining and the babies were dressed in cream colored fleece bunting outfits. Sissie wore a beautiful raw silk dress that seemed to expand with each raindrop. (I think the raindrops made the raw silk stretch.) Her husband wore a handsome batik shirt. It looked like the most perfect Caribbean wedding…except it was coastal Oregon. We stood under umbrellas in the rain as the couple exchange their wedding vows. It was amazing to see the transformation of a woman so close to me.
I don’t mean to make it sound like my sister is without faults and I don’t mean to gloss over any events in our beginnings. It’s more that it is difficult to condense a lifetime of living into a few pages of text. What ends up happening is that you take the life ingredients, mix them up and boil them down…much like the recipe for a cooking project. What you have left is a good tasting recipe or a bad tasting recipe. Or, what you have left is a good feeling life story or a bad feeling life story. I would have to say that my sissies’ life recipe is a good feeling life story. She was born out of the darkness into the light of her own choices. I respect her enormously; especially knowing from whence she came. I think it is certainly true that you should never judge another unless you have walked a mile in their shoes. No one would ever meet my sissie and think “wow, she certainly came from a screwed up childhood”. Instead, they might think, “wow, she is such a loving and fun-loving person—so open and exuberant about life”. I undoubtedly think this a good way to approach life; loving and fun-loving. More and more, I look to my younger sister as someone that I can look up to. Her ideology and approach to life is unique, loving and joyful. She is full of light energy and she is amazing. If I am lucky and blessed, I will get to share the joys of parenthood with the millions of people that are lucky enough to be one. Further, if I am lucky and blessed, it will get to be with my sisters egg…if I am lucky and blessed.

Blah, blah, blah. I am done with this section. I hope I have not freaked anyone out. Blah!

Sissie. Part 3 0f 4.....................................

A miraculous thing happened for my mom. My sister had flown with our mom from their home in Michigan to my home in California. Picking mom up at the airport I noticed that her skin was hot and flushed. We drove by the apartment so she could see her new digs but then went straight to the emergency room for medical care. Mom was very sick and had an open sore on her foot that hadn’t healed in over a year. We were told that the circulation in her leg was so poor that the surgeon would probably have to amputate it. We were also told that mom’s health was so fragile that she probably wouldn’t survive the surgery. Apparently the aorta that ran through her abdominal cavity and down both of her legs was blocked. The aorta is a huge artery coming from the heart that carries all the blood that eventually branches out to supply the entire body. If she had the surgery she might die, but, if she didn’t have the surgery, she would surely die. Sissie was bereft. It was a tense period with long days sitting vigil in the ICU waiting room. Mom had the surgery, and apparently during surgery had a “near-death” experience. When she woke up and was removed from life support she talked of seeing her deceased family members. She said they were youthful and radiant, although in life they were ravaged by smoking, drinking, and lots of sun from farming. She said they spoke to her and showed her events in her future that she had yet to experience. She said they told her that it wasn’t her “time” yet and that she had to return.
Now, say what you want about “near-death” experiences being caused by hypoxia (lack of oxygen to the brain) or hallucinations from drugs--but the odd thing about this near death experience was that mom had a tremendous physical, emotional, and spiritual healing afterwards. This was a woman that at 5 foot 9 inches weighed 70 pounds, was wheel chair bound, and oxygen dependent. She was beaten down by life and admitted to thoughts of self harm. Following this event, however, she was filled with joy and enthusiasm for life. Everyone wanted to be near her. She was infectious. I even began to feel frustrated with the hospital staff because when I would come to visit; her room was always full of nurses or respiratory therapist who wanted to spend time with her. They would take their breaks and come see her simply to talk and hang out. She was fun and filled with light. In no time she gained weight, got rid of the oxygen and graduated from the wheel chair to walk independently without any assistive devices. She even had enough faith in love to develop a crush on her doctor…”old-blue-eyes” she called him.

Mom joined a group of artist to reclaim her painting talents. The groups focus was to express though different media their journeys through illness and healing. It was called the Persephone art project, created by a breast cancer survivor. Mom blossomed in this group. She painted and carved, and sculpted, and molded. Her work was very spiritual. At their exhibit she was “best of show”, although all of the pieces were amazing. She was exuberant. She was enjoying life. She had a purpose.
Sissie eventually returned to her life in Hamtramck Michigan. She continued her political activism and the other political activist leaned heavily upon her for leadership. However, with all that had transpired in her life, she began to spiral into depression. As her depression worsened, my brother, mother and I decided that something needed to be done to help her. We didn’t have much but we offered what we could. We offered airfare and safe haven until she felt stronger. Soon after, Sissie did something really brave. She took us up on it. She put her belongings in storage, left her political group, job, and friends. She came to California with her cat, who happened to be named “sorrow”, although he was actually a very sweet and funny cat…hardly sorrowful at all.
The three of us (Mom, Sissie, and I) had a wonderful time together. Mom was like a young girl in many ways. She was funny and playful and had an infectious wonderful laugh. Every day was a party, it seemed. We shopped, and nested, and ate, and talked. It was a fabulous time together. I don’t remember sissie being significantly depressed. She was fragile, however, and we worried after her. It was good to be with family…for all of us--and it was healing to be with family...for all of us.

(FACTOID:A near-death experience (NDE) refers to a broad range of personal experiences associated with impending death, encompassing multiple possible sensations ranging from detachment from the body, feelings of levitation, extreme fear, total serenity, security, or warmth, the experience of absolute dissolution, and the presence of a light, which some people interpret as a deity
1. A very unpleasant sound/noise is the first sensory impression to be noticed (R. Moody: Life after Life);
2. A sense of being dead;
3. Pleasant emotions; calmness and serenity;
4. An out-of-body experience; a sensation of floating above one's own body and seeing the surrounding area;
5. A sensation of moving upwards through a bright tunnel of light or narrow passageway;
6. Meeting deceased relatives or spiritual figures;
7. Encountering a being of light, or a light (often interpreted as being the deity or deities they personally believe in);
8. Being given a life review;
9. Reaching a border or boundary;
10. A feeling of being returned to the body, often accompanied by a reluctance.
11. Feeling of warmth even though naked.
Some people have also experienced extremely distressing NDEs, which can manifest in forewarning of emptiness or a sense of dread towards the cessation of their life in its current state.

Near-death experiences can have tremendous effects on the people who have them, their families, and medical workers. Changes in values and beliefs often occur in the experience after a near-death experience, including changes in personality and outlook on life, such as a greater appreciation for life, higher self-esteem, greater compassion for others, a heightened sense of purpose and self-understanding, and a desire to learn. The changes may also include an increased physical sensitivity to and diminished tolerance of light, alcohol and drugs. Wikipedia)


To Be Continued………………………..............(Part 3 of 4).....................................................................